Taken from talkingc0ck.com
Show your creativity to your clients, bosses and business
associates! Forget the usual I am out of the office, so please
contact my secretary messages and try these SUGGESTED
OUT-OF-THE-OFFICE AUTO EMAIL REPLIES instead:
1. I am currently on leave, so your email has automatically been
deleted.
2. I am currently out of the office, undergoing surgery to have my
brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
3. You are receiving this automatic reply because I am currently
out of the office. If I were in the office, you probably wouldnt
have received any reply at all.
4. As I am on away on reservist till 30 April, I will be unable to
delete any of your useless emails until I return to the office.
Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was
received.
5. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just emailed me. Please wait
by your computer for my response.
6. The e-mail server was unable to verify your server connection
and could not deliver this message. Please reboot your computer and
try sending again. (When you come back, check your inbox to see how
many blur toads followed these instructions.)
7. I will be out of the office until the end of the month for
medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Roberta'
instead of 'Robert'.
8. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring
you.